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The Weapons of Serious Sam II

By Jason "Rodzilla" Rodzik - September 15, 2005

Sawed off, 12 Gauge Double Barrelled Coach Gun

Due to a manual reload system, the rate of fire on this puppy is still its biggest downside. While still a very imprecise long range weapon, it’s a MUST against small and medium sized, close range enemies.

Serious UZI – Suzzi

No reloading necessary and able to work in pairs, Suzzis are only a step away from the almighty MINIGUN. Now compatible with the 5.56mm bullets used in the Minigun, this weapon is the best choice for both rapid fire mode and controlled short bursts. To be used against long ranged enemies, as well as masses of smaller enemies.

XM214-A Minigun

The classic, shiny and precise tool of death is back. Self-powered and complete with a built-in magazine and a recoil adapter, the XM214-A Minigun is the most powerful personal weapon available. Use for short to long range confrontations with tough enemies or mass elimination of medium and large opponents.

XPML30 Rocket Launcher

Light weight with a high rate of fire, unguided Inferno missiles are the perfect solution for piercing heavily armored enemies and vehicles. While one rocket is being shot, another one is pushed into the main barrel, making the XPML30 a highly effective, fast, and reliable weapon. The only drawback of the Inferno missile is its high splash damage, so the user has to be careful not to use it at close range. A very efficient weapon against armored opponents and masses of weaker enemies.

“BoneSlasher” P-Lah Chainsaw Mk. 2

The BoneSlasher is the weapon of choice when you are pushed against a wall or surrounded by close range enemies.

“The Penetrator”. Magnum Cobra replica, 0.44

Light casings, infinite ammo and the ability to link with Netricsa’s target detection system are still retained in this weapon, while some of the drawbacks of the older version have been improved. A TRUE do-it-all weapon. Just be sure not to use it against bigger enemies.

Hydro-Plasmatic Handgun

Due to the efficient internal workings of the generator, it is possible to shoot smaller units of energy giving this weapon a decent rate of fire. Adding a small amount of carbon into the mix, the plasmatic shot is attracted to organic matter giving the projectiles a homing feature. Very useful if you want to hit a target which is partially hidden by an inanimate object.

12 Gauge Auto-Reloading Shotgun

This gun requires no reload input from the user, leaving him to only think about pointing the gun towards a target. Efficient for the short and middle range elimination of smaller enemies, while its rate of fire is still useful against bigger, but slower enemies.


Serious Bomb - Miniature Big Bang, Atomic Firecracker, Instant Death With A Smile – any way you look at it this baby will rock your world. Just light that fuse and watch your enemies disintegrate in a blinding explosion while you wait in the safety of the Life-Preserving-Quantum-Field(TM). Due to their size, you’ll never be able to carry more than three of them.

SBC Cannon - v 2.0

Built as the most powerful infantry weapon available to federation forces, the new and improved Cannon, appropriately known as “The Paynekiller”, got a whole new set of upgrades. Loaded with highpiercing, uranium-filled cannonballs, it can even drill through several tough opponents in a row. To be used against hordes of all types, just be sure to line the enemies correctly for maximum efficiency.

RB-45 “THE ROMBO” Hand Grenades

Sam’s old pal from military training camps light in weight but powerful in damage, this weapon is filled with explosives and deadly chemicals extracted from Sam’s feet. As time passed they became popular in almost every army in the universe. Finding them on the battlefield shouldn’t be a problem. Usage of the grenade is simple, just press alternative fire and the grenade is launched.

MK - 4 Grenade Launcher

A reliable infantry 40mm grenade thrower with adjustable launching speed, tap the trigger slightly and the grenade will quickly bounce out of the chamber. Holding the trigger down will propel the grenade a longer distance. A smart impact detector detonates the grenade on impact with a live target. A wide range explosion is an excellent way of blowing up groups of weaker enemies, while the impact alone will bring enough damage to even bigger opponents.

XL 808 Hydro Plasmatic Rifle

Taking a lot of design cues from the smaller “ZapGun” the engineers managed to incorporate a unique cold fusion generator and situate it at the front of the weapon. Same as the “ZapGun”, with its integrated molecules of carbon, the plasmatic shot is able to “stick” to the nearest organic matter (excluding the operator), giving it a slight homing ability. The XL 808 proves to be very useful for covering large areas and holding enemy masses away.

RAPTOR 2 Sniper Rifle

The RAPTOR Sniper is one of the most powerful long range weapons in the world. This is THE weapon to be used when taking out long distance opponents as well as quick sniping of closer, bigger enemies. Be sure to use its optics when you want to deliver high damage.

Clawdovic Cacadoos Vulgaris

Parrots were fed Fire Flowers which would mix with their stomach acid ignite the intestines of the bird. Upon even small contact, the mixture becomes unstable resulting in a high combustion explosion. Utilizing these “kamikaze” birds, the Simbas were able to very effectively deliver their shots, as the birds would follow any given target. Use Clawdovic in wide open spaces and against groups of enemies, as the damage (and smell) they deliver can be VERY hazardous to your health.